Just days before we were planning to announce the epic return of BAD IDEA Donuts and the fabled ‘Perfect Donut’, word came down from the elitist chuckle-fucks at the FDA that the famous BAD IDEA ‘Perfect Donut’ was being banned from sale in the United States. No reason given, just banned. Well, Big Donuts and their friends at the Federal Donuts Association don’t fool us. We see right through them. We’ve become a threat to the donut establishment. Too bad, we say. The people have spoken, we say. And, “Just try and stop us”, we shout back at the F.D.A.
How do you fight an organization that powerful? The crack team of googlers at the newly founded BAD IDEA Legal & Associates have made a startling discovery. Turns out that due to an old maritime law the Federal Donut Association’s authority is no longer valid in the free state of South Carolina. So guess who’s going back to SC Comicon?!
BAD IDEA Donuts will once again be at SC Comicon from April 15-16, this year but with a twist! You see, before we were fighting the most powerful sugary glazed organization in the world, we were doing science. True story, we saw an episode of Nathan For You where he tries to drum up business for a yogurt shop by creating a poo flavored yogurt. And how in the world do you create a poo flavored yogurt? You hire a food science company who utilizes cutting edge technology to reverse engineer a smell into the components of taste, and then manufactures a flavoring concentrate of the taste of that smell, that can then be used in cooking. So we did the exact same thing!
We present to you the 3 brand-new, comic book themed flavors of the Perfect Donut:
NEW COMIC BOOK SMELL
Tasting notes: The unmistakable aroma that washes over you when you open the week’s new comics for the first time. Alluring freshness, pleasing crispness and refreshing sweetness. So good you could eat it, and now you can.
USED LONG BOX
Tasting notes: The strong musk only years of workhorse labor can build. Heavy duty work is now a bold, earthy flavor. Strong tannins and harsh minerality with astringent notes of barley and rhubarb
BODY ODOR
Tasting notes: We’ve all been there — drenched in the pungent, musky bouquet that manifests after a long day of dollar bin diving, autograph hunting and general convention sweatiness. A taste not for the light hearted. Noticeable hints of bacteria, miasma of vinegar with a yeasty finish that only deteriorates on the palette as time progresses.
Each flavor will be avaliable, in limited supplies, at SC Comicon. And once again, each purchase comes complete with a BAD IDEA Donut branded box, as well as a BAD IDEA hologram emblazoned trading card certificate of authenticity for your donut, and a copy of the MEGALITH Preview.
The MEGALITH Preview comic celebrates the upcoming Only You Can Help Bring MEGALITH To Comic Stores kickstarter campaign and will only ever be available via this campaign, with the purchase of a flavored BAD IDEA Perfect Donut, at SC Comic-Con. To learn more about the campaign click below.
And there’s one final surprise. We’re bringing an ultra-limited FOURTH FLAVOR with us! That’s right, for every order of a dozen flavored Perfect Donuts we’ll include the secret menu flavor:
GASTRONOMIC REPRESENTATION OF ROBERT VENDITTI
Tasting notes: If superstar writer Robert Venditti woke up one morning and found that he had turned into a donut, and then you walked over and took a bite, this is what he would taste like. Elegant and complex with a depth of flavor sophistication that demands attention, and provides a strong backbone for the assertive finish. Leaves a lasting impression.
This secret menu flavor comes in its own highly collectible, souvenir box adorned with art from the BAD IDEA comics of Robert Venditti and even has a signature box for him to sign. Yes, he will be in attendance! So grab yourself a dozen, try the crazy secret menu flavor and waltz over to Robert Venditti himself to read comics, talk donuts and get your souvenir box signed! But please, do not bite actual Robert Venditti.
And yes, we know today is April Fool’s Day but we promise, this is real. Probably. As is our first ever BAD IDEA panel, happening today at C2E2 in room S403-A at 12:45pm, where every audience member will receive a free copy of HERO TRADE: HUDSON!
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